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 Insult Of The Day

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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Fri May 15, 2009 12:54 pm

Must take part in insults! Here are some of my favorite insults / sarcastic quotes.


I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.
- Stephen Bishop

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
- Samuel Butler

Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it very often.

Every One Has The Right To Be Stupid But You're Abusing the Privilege.
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Mon May 18, 2009 10:10 am

Weekend insultz:

5/16/09:

A face unclouded by thought.

-writer Lillian Hellman on actress Norma Shearer



5/17/09:

Mallory (Justine Bateman): I'm glad Nick and I are so compatible. It's like we have one mind, you know? Like we share one brain.

Alex (Michael J. Fox): Who's using it tonight?

-Family Ties



5/18/09:

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations: it's cold, half French, and difficult to stir.

-writer Stuart keate
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Tue May 19, 2009 12:57 pm

5/19/09:

You have a nice personality-but not for a human being.

-comedian Henny Youngman
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Wed May 20, 2009 9:55 am

5/20/09:

Dubya and Katie were both on TV at 6:30 last night, trying to prove they were a man. Katie won by a whisker.

-columnist Maureen Dowd on President George W. Bush and newscaster Katie Couric
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Thu May 21, 2009 10:06 am

5/21/09:

There are ways to express your affection for someone, madam, other than having children.

-Judge Judy Sheindlin
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Fri May 22, 2009 9:51 am

5/22/09:

Mother of a very fat daughter: She belongs to this weight watcher's club back home. They meet once a month.

Fred Sanford (Redd Foxx): Uh, what do they do? Eat for thirty days?

Fat girl: Oh no! We talk about what we don't eat.

Fred: I bet that's a short conversation.

-Sanford and Son
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Tue May 26, 2009 11:33 am

An extra day of safe for work calendar insults for you all.

5/23/09:

Stone Cold's at home with a beer in his hand...and a beer in his other hand.

-wrestler Jerry Lawler on wrestler "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.



5/24/09:

Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Dogs are interested in fleas.

-journalist P.J. O'Rourke



5/25/09:

Winston has devoted the best years of his life to preparing his impromptu speeches.

-politician F.E. Smith about Winston Churchill



5/26/09:

John Dollar is a novel by Marianne Wiggins, who is now in hiding becuase she is married to Salman Rushdie. Allah be praised.

-writer Florence King
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Wed May 27, 2009 10:56 am

5/27/09:

Blanche (Rue McClanahan): What do you think of my new dress? Is it me?

Sophia (Estelle Getty): It's too tight, it's too short, and shows too much cleavage for a woman your age.

Dorothy (Bea Arthur): Yes, Blanche. It's you.

-The Golden Girls
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Thu May 28, 2009 10:46 am

5/28/09:

The Robert Benchley of the sippy-cup school of homespun humor.

-journalist James Wolcott, on newspaper columnist James Lileks

Okay, even with my vast reservoir of useless knowledge, I found myself drawing a blank where it regarded today's insult. And at some point I'll wiki these names. Maybe.

But for now I'll just smile and nod and say 'that's funny' while pretending not to be the dumbest person in the room at this particular soiree.
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Fri May 29, 2009 11:32 am

5/29/09:

Rhoda the Rhino, Virago Intacta, Petain in Petticoats, and La Pasionara of Privilege.

-various epithets hurled at British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Fri May 29, 2009 11:42 am

Well, they sure are some of the more polite ones in regards to Baroness Thatcher XD
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Mon Jun 01, 2009 12:29 pm

Your weekend jibes:

5/30/09:

In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, "People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea."

-comedian Tina Fey



5/31/09:

Damien (Stephen Tompkinson): Look, I don't know the meaning of the word "lose."

Dave (Neil Pearson): There are lots of words you don't know the meaning of: "taste," "decency"...

-(British sitcom) Drop the Dead Donkey



6/1/09:

I tell ya, this girl was no bargain; she was fat. When she walks backwards, she starts beeping.

-comedian Rodney Dangerfield
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Tue Jun 02, 2009 1:31 pm

6/2/09:

Frank, you are ten of the most boring people I know.

-Hawkeye (Alan Alda), M*A*S*H
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Wed Jun 03, 2009 2:34 pm

He has not one single redeeming defect.

-British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli on rival William Gladstone
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Thu Jun 04, 2009 3:24 pm

6/4/09:

You dress better than you sing, and you got dressed in the dark.

-American Idol judge Simon Cowell
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Fri Jul 03, 2009 11:41 am

NEED MOAR INSULTS!
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Fri Jul 03, 2009 12:39 pm

They weren't funny anymore.
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Tue Jul 14, 2009 2:18 pm

Shame ; ;
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Sun Oct 18, 2009 1:50 pm

bump

"THOUSANDS OF MY POTENTIAL CHILDREN DIED ON YOUR DAUGHTER'S FACE LAST NIGHT"
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Sun Oct 18, 2009 6:53 pm

YOUR MUM WAS A VICTIM OF RAPE!
YOU ARE HER CURSE
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:37 pm

My thread's been co-opted.

Awesome insults!
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:52 pm

I was awaiting Taiso's response.

Btw, your insult of the day calendar... I saw one in Borders that I almost bought, but decided against it, I don't like the publisher Pocket Books at all. They... well... you see where I'm going.

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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:39 pm

There is something you should know about Pocket Books before you buy anything made by them....
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Mon Nov 09, 2009 2:00 pm

"well, thank you for the coffee. so, how far along are you?"
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PostSubject: Re: Insult Of The Day   Tue Nov 09, 2010 7:32 am

The Earth is full. Go home.

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